Please!!! My mother is ruining my life!!!!?
I know this is long but i would really like some advise I am a 21 year old female...I am studying to become a nurse and I live with my mom who just moved to the USA until I graduate and can move on. I work part time and I honor my bills in the house while going to school. But she won't allow my boyfriend of 14 months to come over. He recently moved upstate and we decided to keep things going...he drives 3.5 hrs one way to see me and has to spend a lot of money for hotels etc. He was in town last wknd to see his family and needed a pl. to crash (get some rest) before his long drive back home. I told him to come over and we hung out cooked etc. My mom who was at work sent me racing txts asking him to leave or she will come home and it won't be nice.She also said "How Dare you?" and to keep my relationship out of her house. My bf said he will be getting out of here (my home) and he left. I cried so bad because although he wouldn't leave me I am afraid...no one deserves to be treated that way.His family is so genuine and welcoming to me.His mom loves me and we talk every time he calls her and she even asks how my mom is doing. My bf is much older than I am and he is an engineer and never pressures me into anything...until I am at least finished with my 1st degree. I am so frustrated my mom is not the kind of person you can reason with...she either hangs up the phone, ignores me or make ref. to how much I hurt her and all she has done for me (I have no clue what I did...I am a good student and I never talk back or disrespect her)...she is very selfish.He got my family gifts for christmas, sends me roses, talks with my dad and he we are really trying but I am afraid she is gonna make us break up or make him leave. i was thinking about writing her a letter tell her exactly how i feel and about her attitude. what you think? Please Sincere answers only... Frank...he does pay for our hotel...always!!! However he was out with his family and was jus tired...they had to check out the hotel at 11 and he was so close by he wanted to see me before he went back up!!!
Family - 4 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
this is normal for parents, especially for a mom... maybe she's had some bad experience with an ex boyfriend... you and me on the same boat.. my dad's ok with me and my girl at home, alone or not.. while my mom doesn't.. if she had to come over, mom's on us everytime... - parents can be a pain sometimes.. do what i do.. try to understand her no matter how hard that is...
2 :
In my experience, narcissists are extremely resistant to any hint that they should change. It is possible that she may respond. I'd make sure the letter isn't venting (or write another letter that you never send to vent). Focus on how you care about her as your mother and want her to be part of your life and want to find out how she can get to know the man who may one day be the father of her grandchildren. She may stick to the "no living in sin in my house", in which case you might want to tell your boyfriend that you would rather see him in a motel than get roses.
3 :
Ermm, but you're 21. Aren't you a little old to be bossed around by your mom? D:
4 :
Personally... I'd move out at the earliest opportunity. Avoid moving in with your boyfriend, as A) that would only add fuel to the fire, and B) if it ends up no working out because you moved in together too soon, your only option is to go back to you mother. Start saving a little bit each month to put towards an apartment, and maybe talk to some of your friends and see if they're interested in being roommates. You might find that once you're away from you mother your relationship with her actually improves.
Read more discussion :
