Am i in love or infatuating, I need some help,so am going to try and explain myself !?
I really am not sure but here goes, i go to college am in my 2nd yr of 4yr degree am a girl of19yrs and this guy same age whose my classmate,friend,crew member even drives in my car with me to and from school, are very much secretly really liking each other, almost crazy in love. we are both of vastly different lives and worlds. am of indian descent more up class chick, i drive run my own small business with help of my parents, i got 1 younger sis, my dad has a company and mom is a director in another owned by she and her eight siblings and he is a gangster of african decent he has good family upbringing his dad is a cop of high ranking and his mom is in usa is a nurse they are separated though and he has an older brother and younger sister too. we started admiring each other in the last semester of our 1st yr. our crew leader saw and even pushed it. we started as good friends and kept our ways out of notice publicly and enjoy schooling just fine. we communicate very well and started to enjoy each other via messages and calls we spoke of everything for hours each day. we have been out on simple dates as well even during summer breaks for 4months i traveled and we spoke well just the same. we expressed our liking and deep thoughts and sex wasn't an agenda as he speaks of respect for me seeing i am pure. yet twist to this is i have never been in full serious relationship yet i am a good counselor n listener for my friends. yet he at the time was in one, which begun from his younger days as a kid. he told me of the girl and i even met her mutually. he even helped her apply to our college and she got in. yet during the summer holidays he and her had a serious break down when her girlfriends confessed to him where in she gave up her innocence to his best friend. luckily i had returned home i spent the entire next 2 days and nights with his head on my shoulders crying. this begun a series of events i been through with him.. alot of bad yet i stuck n it all. with out regrets. after summer we restarted school and he and i kicked off our growth from friendship to a relationship. we have enjoyed our time so far together. since our serious ways have begun we have only kissed like on cheeks, as we speak taking it slow. and he tells me am an apple of his eyes and all the beauty i guy tells a girl, he treats me very gentle and does alot of sweet things he doesn't seem to handle other girls like classmates so. even speaks properly to me and no gangster ways basically when it comes to me. i know his secrets and desires, weakness and fears.as he pleads his love to me even tells me that since we met i have changed him alot so does our crew members, and simple things i do make him happy. but here is a twist again, girl number one had a follow up chick whom he has sex with which he had in the background all along from first girl days. and i knew too. here is a scenario for 2 nights we had a 2 different birthday parties for 2 classmates back to back. # 1 i went with him as his date and # 2 he brought the follow up chick seeing she over heard him at his home community tellin his friends he was going to attend the party and i knew this too. he even rented a car as not to take her in mine. next morning he begged my forgiveness kinda stupid but i said fine. we then departed on christmas break, he went to visit grandparents in another state and i traveled he and i continued well. 2 weeks after returning from holidays to school he tells me the follow up girl got a tattoo with his name on he back. he is totally furious. they kind Split as he says he is trapped n doesn't know how to leave if he does he might get killed by her or the gangsters he rolls with only option is finish degree school and go to his mother in the usa to live and work and i go with him seeing i live there alot too, he and i are still i our relationship during all this and i am being a strong girl in this whole ordeal. he continues to plead his love. we never agrue and if we do he never wants to sleep til we sort it out. we go places yet only thing only our crew knows of our relationship now as we both hate attention of crowds imagine this he falls ill and missed school a few days the follow up girl who sleeps with him and ask him for moneydidn'tt care i saw it fit to go out of my love leave school early buys his favorite food takes it to him takes him to the doctor then buys his medicine, this is just one out of many i do for him. he wouldn't go to bed kept calling to say his love i had to turn off my phone n tell him to go bed. i disobeyed my mom when i decided to go with him i cant tell her the struggles i face the pain n hurt i experience due to the love i have for him. i regret none of it though. Yet all in all am confused i don't know what to do cut it off or continue? please give me your advice or help or encouragement !! thanks in advance
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered - 2 Answers
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1 :
That was long.. and a bit confusing. All i could say is that i wish you the best of luck and if it's been like that he obviously cares. Just go for it.(: I hope this helps. -Chris.<33
2 :
Too F*cking long. sorry
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